All The Single Ladies!
by Squiggle.giggle
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are back in Lima for the holidays. When Blaine goes to a Warblers party he has a little too much too drink. What Kurt didn't expect was to find his husband in his old 'Single Ladies' leotard. Drunk!Blaine
1. Chapter 1

**So, many of you probably don't remember me but I'm Squiggle who is a terrible author. I don't even have an excuse I just couldn't be bothered writing, I would sit there are stare at the screen then shut down the computer and do something else.**

**But here is a new story, I have had this written for about a year and only finished it today. **

**Anyway please enjoy**

**Love always Squiggle.**

* * *

Kurt was sitting on the soft, black, leather couch at his father's house, drawing up sketches of dresses for his upcoming collection. Being meticulous with every line he drew. When he felt the back of the couch dip, he craned his head up to see his father looking over his shoulder and down at the sketch pad in his hand.

"Looks good," Burt commented as he walked around the couch and sat himself down on the matching black leather arm chair beside the couch.

"Thanks dad, just an idea that came to me while I was watching The Bachelor." Kurt spoke nonchalantly as he continued with his sketch. Burt nodded and took a sip from his beer as he searched through the channels, ignoring the disgruntled look his son was currently giving.

"So where's Blaine?" Burt asked as he settled on The Deadliest Catch.

Kurt eyed the TV with distaste as his father changed the channel without permission and when he saw the deckhands in bright orange overalls on the TV. He knew they had to make themselves visible when it got dark but seriously, orange? Anyone could rarely pull that colour off.

"He's still at Wes' house, some of his old Warbler friends are back in town for the holidays so Wes organised a little get together. I have to pick him up soon though," Kurt said as he turned his wrist to see the time on his watch "He's been there since 3 in the afternoon and its 12:30am now. What are you still doing up?"

"Carole's shift at the hospital finishes at 1:00, so I thought I'd stay up and wait for her to come home. That and I couldn't sleep. Anyway I thought you were friends with The Warblers too," Burt inquired as he yawned and settled his head back against the armchair.

"They are but I have to get these sketches finished before we go back to New York, I was supposed to have them finished before we left but there was a fashion show, then a consultation, then a fitting and I had a million other things to do and they never got done. So I might as well do it while I have some down time," Kurt said as he picked up a sapphire coloured pencil and started to shade in the dress.

"Just don't work too hard kid, you're on vacation. You should at least have _some_ fun." Burt reminded him.

"I will… right after I finish these." Kurt said mischievously, Burt chuckled fondly at his son and turned his attention back to the TV screen.

They fell into a comfortable silence. Burt's attention was captivated by the show while Kurt was entranced by his designs, smoothing out the rough edges and blending the colours to create the most stunning designs.

Twenty minutes later Kurt was finishing up on his third design when his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He suspected it was just another drunken text from Blaine after receiving at least a dozen sloppily composed messages from him through the night telling him how much he loved him or texting some particularly crude messages that made him blush at the thought of them. Kurt carefully placed the sketch pad and pencils in his hands on to the wooden coffee table and reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone.

"Blaine?" Burt asked nonchalantly.

"No, Jeff actually," Kurt replied confusedly as he looked down at the caller ID before he answered his phone.

"Hey Jeff, I didn't expect to be hearing from you," Kurt told.

"Yeah, hi Kurt, you might want to come pick Blaine up now," Jeff spoke nervously; Kurt could hear the word 'chug' being repeated faintly in the background.

"Oh god, how bad is he?" Kurt asked, grimacing when he heard cheering and excited whistles.

"Well, remember the time you told me about Blaine's and your trip to Scandals; the stumbling, happy carefree Blaine that just wanted to help the world and create art?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah?" Kurt asked wearily.

"Times that by ten." Jeff said defiantly, Kurt groaned and stood up from the couch.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." Kurt said as he ended the call and stuffed his phone back in his jeans. The counter-tenor picked up his light grey trench coat that was hanging on the back of the couch and proceeded to put it on.

"So, how's Blaine?" Burt asked amusedly, Kurt just groaned again as he picked up his car keys from the coffee table.

"By the sound of it, drunk, I'll be back soon." Kurt said as he walked towards the door.

"If he throws up, you're cleaning it up!" Burt shouted after Kurt, chuckling to himself.

"Oh believe me," Kurt said as he gripped the door handle "if he throws up, he'll be cleaning it up himself!" Kurt shouted back as he closed the door, Burt's laughter growing in volume.

* * *

Kurt pulled up out the front of Wes's house and frowned when he heard the loud music. He got out of the car and locked the doors with the clicker on his keys as he walked towards the house; he thought about knocking on the door but considered it to be useless since no one would hear him over the music.

He walked through the house, passing people making out against a wall or seeing drunken guys trying to chat up sober girls, Kurt smiled as he noticed the despondent look in their eyes.

Kurt walked out to the backyard and looked around to see a lot more people than just The Warblers. Either Wes considered this as a little get together or more people had turned up then he had expected to. Kurt scanned the back yard and sighed when he couldn't find Blaine. _If I was an inebriated idiot where would I be?_ Kurt pondered.

He smiled when he saw Jeff standing next to a table grabbing a handful of pretzels. He wandered over and clapped Jeff on the shoulder.

"Hey Jeff," Kurt greeted warmly, Jeff held up one finger and proceeded to chew the pretzels in his mouth be swallowed them and greeted Kurt back.

"So where's Blaine? Or is it better if I don't know?" Kurt asked quizzically, Jeff smirked as he looked over Kurt's shoulder and remained silent.

"Jeff?"

"Kurty!" arms flung around his shoulders and a body slammed against his back. Kurt stumbled forward and would have fallen to the ground if the table hadn't caught him. The countertenor straightened himself up and turned to see Nick resting his head against the back of his shoulder.

"Hey Kurty," Nick slurred into his ear, he tried to block the overwhelming stench of beer coming from his mouth.

"Nick, we've talked about this before. Personal space," Kurt said as he pried his hands off of him. The other man scowled before latching himself onto Jeff.

"'m sorry, just you're all Mr New York now and you never see me any more," Nick slurred as he started to nuzzle his nose into the side of Jeff's neck, Kurt smiled at the scene before him before turning to gaze at Jeff curiously.

"I'm surprised that it's Nick like this and not you. You're the biggest party animal I know," Kurt told, Jeff sighed in frustration.

"I know but I lost rock, paper, scissors three times and now I'm the designated driver. Can you believe this is Nick after four beers?" Jeff asked amusedly as he placed a chaste kiss to Nick's forehead. Nick hummed delightedly and nestled himself in to Jeff's side. Kurt shook his head; he knew Nick was just as much as a lightweight as his husband. The counter-tenor looked around the backyard again.

"So where's Blaine?" Kurt asked, a little nervous as to why he couldn't see him.

"Playing strip poker." Jeff informed amusedly, Kurt groaned.

"I swear that boy takes any chance he can get to not wear clothes." Kurt explained exasperatedly, Jeff giggled as he unravelled himself from Nick then he took his hand as he led Kurt to where Blaine was.

"You say it like its bad, that boy's sexy," Nick slurred as he stumbled over his feet before walking back into the house.

"That's my husband you're talking about, not yours Nick." Kurt reminded playfully as they walked down the hallway.

"Oops," Nick said as he clamped his free hand over his mouth, Kurt and Jeff giggled and walked into the room to find Blaine, Wes, David, Thad and their girlfriends sitting around a table, cards fanned out in their hands with various items of clothing missing.

Luckily Blaine was only without a shirt, bowtie, and jacket and was still wearing his jeans. Kurt walked over to Blaine and placed his hand on his shoulder; the curly haired man turned away from the game and smiled elatedly up at him.

"Babe!" Blaine said excitedly.

"Hey honey, ready to go?" Kurt asked as he picked up Blaine's clothes that were on the ground. Blaine shook his head and turned back to his cards.

"Nope, Thad's girl's almost naked," Blaine said as he waggled his eyebrows at her "what's her name again?"

"Caitlyn!" they all said exasperatedly, Kurt figured that that wasn't the first time his husband had asked that question.

"Fine, I see when I'm not wanted." Blaine replied as threw his cards down on the table and pushed his chair back before standing up.

"No, Blainey, don't go!" Wes pleaded as he put his hands in a praying position; Blaine shook his head and smirked imperiously.

"No, I must be responsible. The old ball and chain wants me home," Blaine told solemnly, Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, it's not as if I can't hear you." Kurt reminded as he picked out Blaine's shirt from the pile of clothes and turned to him.

"Put this on" Kurt said as he extended his hand towards Blaine. He looked down at it with confusion.

"Why?"

"Because it's cold outside, you're not currently wearing it, there's snow outside and I don't want you getting sick. Now put it on." Kurt ordered. Wes made a whip cracking noise and started to laugh. Blaine took the shirt from Kurt's hand and tried to put his arms through the sleeves.

"Hey, I might be whipped but I definitely have more sex than you do," Blaine rebuked smugly; Wes immediately stopped laughing and scowled at the other man.

The curly haired man had managed to put his arms through the sleeves of the shirt but had put it on upside down. He looked down at the shirt with a puzzled frown before looking up at his husband.

"It's broken," Blaine told indubitably, the countertenor rolled his eyes and took the shirt off before holding it out for him to put his arms through it correctly.

"And that is Blaine after 12 beers," Jeff said amusedly, Kurt looked up from buttoning Blaine's shirt and stared at him incredulously.

"Are you serious?" Kurt demanded Blaine shook his head; he breathed a sigh of relief.

"12 beers plus rum," Blaine informed proudly, Kurt frowned again. He knew exactly how Blaine was going to feel tomorrow and aside from him being cuddly and wanting to be hugged he would have to deal with a great deal of complaining.

The countertenor put his husband's jacket on him and put his bow tie in his pocket; considering it to be too much work at this time of night.

"Good night guys, be good," Kurt said seriously, Nick gave a sarcastic salute before poking his tongue out at Kurt; ignoring Kurt's instructions immediately as he turned and kissed Jeff, his tongue already slipping into his mouth. The rest of them waved at Blaine before returning to their game, intensely eying their cards.

Kurt laughed when he saw Jeff's hands out in shock of his mouth being attacked before slowly lowering his hands and resting them on Nick's lower back. Kurt smiled at them and wrapped his arm around Blaine's midsection as he led them towards the exit.

"I'm so glad you came and picked me up, you did it because you love me didn't you?" Blaine said assured of himself; Kurt chuckled as he opened the front door of Wes' house.

"There's that reason and there is no way I would let you drive home drunk," Kurt told as they walked along the little concrete path towards his car.

"Because you love me; right?" Blaine asked curiously, he rolled his eyes fondly at the other man and smiled.

"Yes because I love you," Kurt said as he opened the door of his navigator "now do you think you'll be fine and not throw up on the trip back to my dad's house?"

"Scouts' honour." Blaine slurred, Kurt nodded and helped his husband lay down in the back seat. The countertenor saw a frisky look in the other man's eyes before he pulled the counter-tenor down on top of him. Kurt let out a little shriek in surprise.

"Blaine!" Kurt squeaked out. Blaine smirked mischievously and started to place sloppy kisses along his neck. The countertenor pushed him back before closing the door and driving back to his father's house, dreading the hang over Blaine would be sure to have in the morning.

* * *

"Hey Burt!" Blaine shouted excitedly when they entered the lounge room. The curly haired man was leaning heavily into his husband stumbling and tripping over his own feet when he tried to walk.

"Hi Blaine, you might want to be quiet, Finn's asleep upstairs," he said with mild concern when he glanced at the boy. He proceeded to mime zipping his lips and remained silent.

The countertenor dragged his husband up the stairs, tripping a few times when the other man would lose his footing. Burt offered to help the drunken man up the stairs but his son declined, knowing that his husband would get excited if the other man helped. They were almost to Kurt's old room when Blaine started closing his eyes.

"No, no, no, come on stay awake until I at least get you into bed," Kurt complained, lightly tapping the curly haired man's face to which Blaine groaned and tried to bat his hand away. When they arrived, Kurt unceremoniously dropped his husband on the bed, sighing in relief when the extra weight was gone. He untied Blaine's shoes and tucked him in, smiling when the other man tugged the blankets around his shoulders and nuzzled into the pillow. The countertenor slipped out of the room, turning the light off as he left and going into the bathroom to do his nightly routine. Occasionally he would hear grunts coming from the bedroom and then he heard a thump, rolling his eyes thinking that Blaine had probably fallen out of bed.

Ten minutes later, he was surprised to see the bed empty, with a calculating expression Kurt left the room in search of the other man. What he did not expect was to see his husband adorned in his 'Single Ladies' leotard in the middle of the lounge room dancing in front of his family.

"What is going on?" Kurt asked.

"Come dance with me!" Blaine shouted, the countertenor shook his vehemently.

Awoken by the noise, Finn walked out of his room rubbing his eyes before he burst out in uncontrollable laughter. The image of the short man, his hair splaying everywhere wearing skin tight lycra was somewhere between disgusting and enormously comical. He rushed back to his room and grabbed his phone, taking many photos and videos to use as black mail later on.

Kurt sighed tiredly and dragged his idiot husband back to bed. It was two in the morning, he was going to bed.

* * *

Eleven o'clock the next morning, Blaine came down to the kitchen clutching his head as it pounded heavily.

"Kurt, either I was really drunk last night or got hit by a train. I'm pretty sure it was the train… Also what am I wearing?" he wondered. Kurt and Finn stared at each other before they started laughing. "What?"

Finn stood up from his chair, placed his mug in the sink and cupped him on the shoulder as he left the room.

"Nothing, Tiny Dancer."

* * *

**So there it is. Tell me what you think, I always reply. **

**Also tell me of some good stories, I have nothing to read. I dont care what it's about, I know some of the dark twisted stuff you guys are into. Dont lie to me, you're all freaks like me haha**


	2. Expression of interest

Hey guys! Just a quick message. What would you think if I did another chapter of this story, the same as the first one but from Blaine's point of view


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